I want to know what the fuck is wrong with me. The anger, the instability, everything. I was just fine an hour ago. Then I suddenly got unreasonably angry at Dan, went to exercize and achieved nothing but hurting myself by pulling a muscle in my side and twisting my ankles twice in my fucking shoes.
Then I come back, he offers to have me come over. For a minute I'm happy, until I realize I can't. Then my mood just crumbles. Once again, crying like a fucking pussy baby. I need to be beaten or something. Maybe it will beat sense into me? It's about the only alternative aside from ending it all together, letting Dan move on to someone prettier, happier, some chick who has a point to her existence. Letting my parents have one less mouth to feed, less dead weight to drive around, less college to pay for. Because everything in this world is money and gas, you know. My "friends" would have one less acquaintance to deal with, have to ignore no more of my problems. Life would be sweet, wouldn't it? I only wish I could live it well.
Something's wrong. But I don't know what.
Katie, please please don't think that way. Dan is with you because he loves you, and your friends love you too. Life would not be sweet at all if you were gone. And I happen to think that you are very pretty, despite what you believe about yourself. You're an inspiring person, and an absolutely awesome artist.
*hugs Katie really tight*